The ‘B’ words
Welcome to my September blog post. At this time of year, we are reminded of back to school, back to work (in the office?), and back to life, pre-pandemic, as we once knew it. (Can’t I dream?)
Let me dive right in with this month’s topic.
The ‘b’ words. No, not the one you are thinking…
‘B’ is for boundary setting
How do you navigate that difficult balancing act you tread daily between your work demands, your family, and your personal time? It is a constant struggle, with no perfect solution. At least it was that way for me. There is no one size fits all, or a simple solution to this puzzle. But, I suggest, if you apply the practice of boundary setting, it works!
First, identify those activities, interruptions, hours in the week that align with your principles and priorities and draw your line in the sand around them. These are your ‘healthy’ boundaries. Be bold and hold yourself accountable to adhere to them, relentlessly. (Or, as at least as best you can.)
Here’s the hard part, especially if you are in a more junior role or are a new hire. I urge you (strongly!) to share your boundaries with your boss, your co-workers, your friends, and your family – delicately, tactfully, empathetically. Saying them out loud takes courage, confidence, negotiating and astute communication skills. But let’s be honest. If you haven’t set clear expectations of what balance looks and feels like for you, don’t expect others to abide by your rules. They will jump in and mess up your line in the sand, without even realizing they are doing it!
My advice on bold boundary setting comes with one caveat. Be bendy (aka: flexible) with your boundaries when faced with that occasional bump in the road. Be ready to pivot to attend to your customer’s latest crisis, your child’s first play, or your friend in need. And don’t beat yourself up over it, it’s bound to happen sometimes. (Sorry, I got carried away there.)
‘B’ is for Bonding with Boundaries
The next piece of this puzzle is how to bond with your boundaries when life gets in the way. And life does get in the way. Can you practice saying ‘no’? Saying ‘yes’ is easier. However, saying ‘no’ to a task or a person when you physically or emotionally can’t handle one blasted thing more, lifts that 50lb weight off your shoulders. And standing up for yourself feels amazing. Remember, these are ‘healthy’ boundaries – your mental health and well-being depend on it.
‘B’ is for Big Goals
I bet you dollars to days off, not enough of your time is spent on tasks in the top right, urgent AND important, quadrant. Are they? Consider those tasks in your day that zap you of energy and/or waste your time. Can any of them be deferred, delegated or dispensed with? Consider spending more of your finite time and energy on your most important priorities – the big goals that align with your priorities, and dictate your future.
It’s tempting to turn your attention to the mindless, administrative, busy work than to work on a challenging leadership or stretch project. But filling out time and expense reports, reading a sea of emails, and attending meetings that you needn’t have accepted, don’t propel your career forward, or prove to others you are ready for more challenging work, or your next promotion. Spend your time on the things that matter for a happier, healthier, balanced life.
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